So after many sleepless nights, and after much thought and prayer, I decided it would be in my best interest to see my old doctor, who we will call Dr. H. I saw him before, he diagnosed me with Endometriosis and did my first surgery, but then I moved 2 hours north to Monroe. I have been doing pretty badly, and while I hate the distance and don't really care for Alexandria(where I WAS living), I decided that it would be best.
What many people don't know is that I have struggled with Endometriosis for some time now, before I even knew I had it. I talked about it in my very first blog post, but I will repeat some of it here. I would say the spring of 2010 onward was when it REALLY kicked in. I just didn't feel good. We didn't know what was going on. I even went into the ER twice that summer because my symptoms triggered two terrible panic attacks, and I didn't know what was going on!! I didn't even know they were panic attacks. They thought I was in there to get drugs for myself or a friend, told me it was all in my head, and wouldn't even reccommend me to anybody. At one point they even told me that it was paresthesia, in other words, my brain got overstimulated and caused me to panic so badly, my whole body went numb!! However, there was nothing that they could do for it; it was all in my head. I didn't get a break until an ovarian cyst burst on me in April, shortly before my birthday. I saw someone we will call Dr. D in the hospital, and she seemed to be great at first. However, she didn't seem too concerned about everything that I had going on physically. That is when I decided to get a second opinion, and ended up with Dr. H. Good thing I did too, he operated on me a few days later, and diagnosed me.
So, I woke up early, and Jake and I made the drive down to Alexandria. Well, really he drove and I slept most of the way. Did I ever mention how amazing of a fiance I have?? We stopped and picked up my twin on the way, because I don't go home without seeing her!! So we picked her up, and seeing her cheered me up quite a bit.
Twin, if you are reading this: MOVE TO MONROE!!
Anyway, like the wonderful person she is, she sat out in the waiting room while Jake went back with me.
I saw Dr. H almost right away, and he said it could be a few things, all of which could be complications from a previous surgery(not the one he did). So I have to go back Friday to have a scan done, and then we go from there :)
For now, I got a shot to reduce inflammation, and it is working out quite well so far :) I already have some relief. Time to go eat Papa John's pizza!!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Probably my most honest post.... But not my most positive.
My grandad drove my to a doctor's appointment Thursday, and as we were pulling out of the driveway, he commented "It just isn't fair that you have to go through this." He is right, I feel the same way. It isn't fair. It isn't fair that I can't be a normal 24 year old girl. It isn't fair that I wanted to go to the mall with my fiance Friday and had to cut our trip short because I felt bad. It isn't fair that I can't exercise and do things I enjoy because of my illness.
Another side effect of endometriosis: Depression.
Today, my pain was off the charts, I was so dizzy that I couldn't do much, and I still can't keep down any food. My doctor told me Thursday to call her if these symptoms are still present by Monday, so I did. I received a call back telling me to go to the ER. This time, I put my foot down. NO. It has been a never ending cycle lately. They tell me to go to the ER, the ER tells me to follow up with my doctor, and here we are again. I am so sick of the ER, hospitals, and doctors offices. All they do is try to feed me medicine, cut me open once in awhile, and tell me what I already know: "You have Endometriosis." Uh, duh. Thats why I am here.
To top it off, I think that Jake & I have caught a small stomach virus, he is starting to feel better.
I don't though. I have days like this every now and then, and they are becoming more and more frequent, so I need to vent....
This illness has ruined my life at this point. Thats all I can really say. I'm sad about it. I started crying Friday, and haven't stopped much since. This is no quality of life to have. Absolutley not. I'm not suicidal by any means, but at this point, when I go to bed at night, I don't really care if I wake up in the morning. Why should I if it isn't going to get any better. I keep hearing people tell me that it WILL get better, it WILL get better, but seriously?? It doesn't seem like it will right now. I don't really want to know that it WILL get better, I want to know WHEN it will get better.
I am supposed to be in school, I just moved in with my grandparents, and I am supposed to be planning my wedding that will be happening at the end of the year. How am I supposed to enjoy any of that right now?? I don't have the energy, or the strength. I don't have the positive mood right now. Do I want to be laying in bed?? Hurting and crying?? NO. I want to be enjoying my time with my grandparents, or at my church. I want to be able to keep food down. Saturday, my grandma made some of my favorites, I had to enjoy 2 servings, but it all came up less than an hour later. Sunday, there was a women's event at church I had been looking forward to. Again, there was some finger foods. I had to call Jake to come get me because it didn't stay down. I'm not enjoying life right now and I want to. I want to know when I will get to. I have been praying my heart out to find an answer to this since April, and if it isn't his plan for me to be rid of it completley, can't I at least get some relief??
We found a doctor that apparently SPECIALIZES in Endometriosis, so we may call tomorrow and see where that will go. Or go back to my doctor in Alexandria and see if he can point us in the right direction.
I'm saying it again, I want the hystorectomy. It isn't worth it anymore. I've dreamed of being a mom ever since I was young, but it isn't worth my health. Everybody is telling me to think about it, and I have. I do not want to live another day feeling like this. That is the only complete cure. I want it. It is hard for me to say, it would be a lot easier if I had kids. However, I don't care anymore. I want it. I want my life back.
Another side effect of endometriosis: Depression.
Today, my pain was off the charts, I was so dizzy that I couldn't do much, and I still can't keep down any food. My doctor told me Thursday to call her if these symptoms are still present by Monday, so I did. I received a call back telling me to go to the ER. This time, I put my foot down. NO. It has been a never ending cycle lately. They tell me to go to the ER, the ER tells me to follow up with my doctor, and here we are again. I am so sick of the ER, hospitals, and doctors offices. All they do is try to feed me medicine, cut me open once in awhile, and tell me what I already know: "You have Endometriosis." Uh, duh. Thats why I am here.
To top it off, I think that Jake & I have caught a small stomach virus, he is starting to feel better.
I don't though. I have days like this every now and then, and they are becoming more and more frequent, so I need to vent....
This illness has ruined my life at this point. Thats all I can really say. I'm sad about it. I started crying Friday, and haven't stopped much since. This is no quality of life to have. Absolutley not. I'm not suicidal by any means, but at this point, when I go to bed at night, I don't really care if I wake up in the morning. Why should I if it isn't going to get any better. I keep hearing people tell me that it WILL get better, it WILL get better, but seriously?? It doesn't seem like it will right now. I don't really want to know that it WILL get better, I want to know WHEN it will get better.
I am supposed to be in school, I just moved in with my grandparents, and I am supposed to be planning my wedding that will be happening at the end of the year. How am I supposed to enjoy any of that right now?? I don't have the energy, or the strength. I don't have the positive mood right now. Do I want to be laying in bed?? Hurting and crying?? NO. I want to be enjoying my time with my grandparents, or at my church. I want to be able to keep food down. Saturday, my grandma made some of my favorites, I had to enjoy 2 servings, but it all came up less than an hour later. Sunday, there was a women's event at church I had been looking forward to. Again, there was some finger foods. I had to call Jake to come get me because it didn't stay down. I'm not enjoying life right now and I want to. I want to know when I will get to. I have been praying my heart out to find an answer to this since April, and if it isn't his plan for me to be rid of it completley, can't I at least get some relief??
We found a doctor that apparently SPECIALIZES in Endometriosis, so we may call tomorrow and see where that will go. Or go back to my doctor in Alexandria and see if he can point us in the right direction.
I'm saying it again, I want the hystorectomy. It isn't worth it anymore. I've dreamed of being a mom ever since I was young, but it isn't worth my health. Everybody is telling me to think about it, and I have. I do not want to live another day feeling like this. That is the only complete cure. I want it. It is hard for me to say, it would be a lot easier if I had kids. However, I don't care anymore. I want it. I want my life back.
Friday, September 16, 2011
I had a feeling that today was going to be a good day....
....and I was right.
My grandaddy was kind enough to drive me to yet ANOTHER doctor appointment today and wait the long wait in the waiting room.
Let me say, my doctor is an amazing one!! Visits may require a long wait, but it is because she takes the time to listen to her patients and really try to figure things out with them instead of jotting down a note or two, writing a script, and sending them on their way. There are several different types of doctors out there, and I really believe she is one who is truly concerned and cares for each patient she sees, and didn't become a doctor because of the "cool, interesting how the human body works" factor, but because she really has the passion to help people. Again, protecting the privacy of everyone I refer to on here is important, so I will simply refer to her as "Dr. S"
Anyway, she got a urine sample and blood work. I don't know the results of the blood test, I have recently been told that my blood count is okay, which is GREAT, because I had been told long time ago(not by Dr. S) that my body just didn't produce the amount of blood needed to function normally and I may have to receive transfusions for the rest of my life. However, I have been bleeding a lot since the surgery, so I will really be surprised if my blood count is still okay with all my body has been through. The urine sample did have blood in it, and she thinks that may have been from the catheter they put in me in the ER Tuesday night. Also, she said it is normal for my stomach to be swollen, which I am relieved to hear. It was HUGE this morning. It goes up and down a little, but it was out of control this morning!! I stepped on the scale and was SIX POUNDS HEAVIER since my surgery Monday. I was a little alarmed, and clueless as to how I gained 6 pounds in three days. Especially since I haven't been able to eat much. But I could be retaining fluid and hopefully that will go down as well.
She told me if my pain level does not go down this weekend and I am still having to take my pain medicine like I am now to call Monday and follow up. Hopefully, I will be off this stuff soon. It isn't any fun feeling loopy from the stuff. Better than being in pain and not being able to sleep or concentrate though I guess.
I wasn't supposed to go back to school until Tuesday, but I learned I had a test today and broke the rules a little bit to go to math class(what a rebel!!). Luckily, I have a very understanding math professor who doesn't get annoyed when I have to get up to go use the restroom every half hour. I met a couple of new people at school today and told them about my blog. I sort of had the opportunity when I was at the mirror freaking out because my belly button was still bleeding pretty badly and they were asking if I was okay. I am so glad I am able to spread awareness of the illness with this blog, I see that I have a lot of views, but barely any comments. Come on people, give me something to read, even if it is an anonymous one sentence!! ;) I get rather bored lately having nothing to do but sit in bed. Or e-mail me at MassieMoscow@gmail.com I promise I have the time to respond, lol. Again, don't bother with any negativity, because I don't even bother with reading it. The first hint of negativity and all I do is hit "delete", so don't waste your time.
Well, the pain medicine is kicking in and it is getting hard for me to keep my eyes open. Hopefully, I will be able to blog again this weekend!! Before I go, I want to say thank you to my friend Crystal who promoted my blog on her facebook!! THANK YOU GIRL!! It means a lot to me!! Now, time to go say goodbye to Jake and get to sleep =) Later!!
Well, the pain medicine is kicking
My grandaddy was kind enough to drive me to yet ANOTHER doctor appointment today and wait the long wait in the waiting room.
Let me say, my doctor is an amazing one!! Visits may require a long wait, but it is because she takes the time to listen to her patients and really try to figure things out with them instead of jotting down a note or two, writing a script, and sending them on their way. There are several different types of doctors out there, and I really believe she is one who is truly concerned and cares for each patient she sees, and didn't become a doctor because of the "cool, interesting how the human body works" factor, but because she really has the passion to help people. Again, protecting the privacy of everyone I refer to on here is important, so I will simply refer to her as "Dr. S"
Anyway, she got a urine sample and blood work. I don't know the results of the blood test, I have recently been told that my blood count is okay, which is GREAT, because I had been told long time ago(not by Dr. S) that my body just didn't produce the amount of blood needed to function normally and I may have to receive transfusions for the rest of my life. However, I have been bleeding a lot since the surgery, so I will really be surprised if my blood count is still okay with all my body has been through. The urine sample did have blood in it, and she thinks that may have been from the catheter they put in me in the ER Tuesday night. Also, she said it is normal for my stomach to be swollen, which I am relieved to hear. It was HUGE this morning. It goes up and down a little, but it was out of control this morning!! I stepped on the scale and was SIX POUNDS HEAVIER since my surgery Monday. I was a little alarmed, and clueless as to how I gained 6 pounds in three days. Especially since I haven't been able to eat much. But I could be retaining fluid and hopefully that will go down as well.
She told me if my pain level does not go down this weekend and I am still having to take my pain medicine like I am now to call Monday and follow up. Hopefully, I will be off this stuff soon. It isn't any fun feeling loopy from the stuff. Better than being in pain and not being able to sleep or concentrate though I guess.
I wasn't supposed to go back to school until Tuesday, but I learned I had a test today and broke the rules a little bit to go to math class(what a rebel!!). Luckily, I have a very understanding math professor who doesn't get annoyed when I have to get up to go use the restroom every half hour. I met a couple of new people at school today and told them about my blog. I sort of had the opportunity when I was at the mirror freaking out because my belly button was still bleeding pretty badly and they were asking if I was okay. I am so glad I am able to spread awareness of the illness with this blog, I see that I have a lot of views, but barely any comments. Come on people, give me something to read, even if it is an anonymous one sentence!! ;) I get rather bored lately having nothing to do but sit in bed. Or e-mail me at MassieMoscow@gmail.com I promise I have the time to respond, lol. Again, don't bother with any negativity, because I don't even bother with reading it. The first hint of negativity and all I do is hit "delete", so don't waste your time.
Well, the pain medicine is kicking in and it is getting hard for me to keep my eyes open. Hopefully, I will be able to blog again this weekend!! Before I go, I want to say thank you to my friend Crystal who promoted my blog on her facebook!! THANK YOU GIRL!! It means a lot to me!! Now, time to go say goodbye to Jake and get to sleep =) Later!!
Well, the pain medicine is kicking
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Another Day, Another Problem :(
*DISCLAIMER* I am not the best with spelling, so please forgive my errors. Also, please remember to protect the privacy of friends and family, all names have been changed.
So I thought things were going to start improving, but they seem to be going backward....
So that church event I was speaking of yesterday?? I did go, and I felt fine all day. I rode with Carrie that morning to pick up her in-law's dog, I did some schoolwork, and watched TV with Jake. Jake and I went to the church event early to help set up. The most streneous thing I did was open bags of chips and pour them into bowls. So I go to the restroom, and again, the places they made the incisions were bleeding everywhere. So I cleaned myself up, went to pee, and last thing I remember after flushing the toilet was this surge of pain hitting my right shoulder blade, right side of my ribcage, and my entire pelvic area. I don't remember actually hitting the floor or things going black. They called an ambulance, and I went to the ER.
The ER is sometimes helpful, sometimes not so helpful. Last night was one of their not so helpful nights. They wanted a urine sample for me, so I asked for a wheelchair so I could go to the bathroom and get one. For whatever reason, they insisted on inserting a cathader, which by the way, MOST UNCOMFORTABLE THING IN MY LIFE. They left that thing in for several hours. They gave me a shot of Dilaudid in my IV for pain, which I was kind of mad about, because the doctor hadn't seen me yet and how was I supposed to tell him where I was hurting and how badly I was hurting all doped up?? I didn't tell them not to, I just didn't realize what they were giving me at the time they did it. It didn't last very long either, so I sat in there crying for several hours as well. Not only that, but I was bleeding everytime I urinated, and I was also producing blood clots from my vaginal area. They must not have inserted the cathader correctly, because I was sitting in my own urine and blood the whole time I was there asking for help and never really received any. The ER doctor didn't say much at all, and what he did say I was unable to take in because it was 2 am and I was tired and loopy from the Dilaudid. He offered to write me a script for more pain medicine, but I told him no because I still had some that my own doctor had given me, and I didn't want to get hooked on the stuff. So it was pretty useless. Had I known it would have gone that way, I would have just gone home and slept.
Today though, I have been SITTING. ALL. DAY. I am bored out of my mind, and really lonely because Jake has been working all day. The nurse from the surgery center called, and I told her about the blood clots, the pain, and then mentioned that everytime I pee, I am urinating blood. Which is a bit scary. So I have to see my doctor again tomorrow and miss yet another day of school, which I am not thrilled about. I am urinating a lot of bright red blood everytime I go to the bathroom, and it is really scary.
I am trying to stay positive and look forward to the weekend. Jake's dad and his(Jake) younger brother, Lucas may be coming to visit suring the day Sautrday. I also got a call from my friend Trevor(who actually introduced Jake & I, and is dating my cousin Lizzie) saying that he was flying in Lizzie this Friday and they may come visit up around lunchtime Saturday as well. So I am really happy at seeing everybody. Especially Lucas, he is like a little brother to me as well, and I have not seen him in a long time due to some issues I won't go into on here. Then, Saturday night, my friend Carrie and her husband Matt should be coming over to watch a documentary with Jake & I. Saturday will be a great day, assuming we can get my health stable for then.
Well, I have to wrap this up. Top Model is about to start and I am such a Top Model fangirl it is sad. I have to text my twin to remind her to watch it as well. I wish she could just drive over and watch it with me :(
See ya. I'll update after I visit my doctor tomorrow.
So I thought things were going to start improving, but they seem to be going backward....
So that church event I was speaking of yesterday?? I did go, and I felt fine all day. I rode with Carrie that morning to pick up her in-law's dog, I did some schoolwork, and watched TV with Jake. Jake and I went to the church event early to help set up. The most streneous thing I did was open bags of chips and pour them into bowls. So I go to the restroom, and again, the places they made the incisions were bleeding everywhere. So I cleaned myself up, went to pee, and last thing I remember after flushing the toilet was this surge of pain hitting my right shoulder blade, right side of my ribcage, and my entire pelvic area. I don't remember actually hitting the floor or things going black. They called an ambulance, and I went to the ER.
The ER is sometimes helpful, sometimes not so helpful. Last night was one of their not so helpful nights. They wanted a urine sample for me, so I asked for a wheelchair so I could go to the bathroom and get one. For whatever reason, they insisted on inserting a cathader, which by the way, MOST UNCOMFORTABLE THING IN MY LIFE. They left that thing in for several hours. They gave me a shot of Dilaudid in my IV for pain, which I was kind of mad about, because the doctor hadn't seen me yet and how was I supposed to tell him where I was hurting and how badly I was hurting all doped up?? I didn't tell them not to, I just didn't realize what they were giving me at the time they did it. It didn't last very long either, so I sat in there crying for several hours as well. Not only that, but I was bleeding everytime I urinated, and I was also producing blood clots from my vaginal area. They must not have inserted the cathader correctly, because I was sitting in my own urine and blood the whole time I was there asking for help and never really received any. The ER doctor didn't say much at all, and what he did say I was unable to take in because it was 2 am and I was tired and loopy from the Dilaudid. He offered to write me a script for more pain medicine, but I told him no because I still had some that my own doctor had given me, and I didn't want to get hooked on the stuff. So it was pretty useless. Had I known it would have gone that way, I would have just gone home and slept.
Today though, I have been SITTING. ALL. DAY. I am bored out of my mind, and really lonely because Jake has been working all day. The nurse from the surgery center called, and I told her about the blood clots, the pain, and then mentioned that everytime I pee, I am urinating blood. Which is a bit scary. So I have to see my doctor again tomorrow and miss yet another day of school, which I am not thrilled about. I am urinating a lot of bright red blood everytime I go to the bathroom, and it is really scary.
I am trying to stay positive and look forward to the weekend. Jake's dad and his(Jake) younger brother, Lucas may be coming to visit suring the day Sautrday. I also got a call from my friend Trevor(who actually introduced Jake & I, and is dating my cousin Lizzie) saying that he was flying in Lizzie this Friday and they may come visit up around lunchtime Saturday as well. So I am really happy at seeing everybody. Especially Lucas, he is like a little brother to me as well, and I have not seen him in a long time due to some issues I won't go into on here. Then, Saturday night, my friend Carrie and her husband Matt should be coming over to watch a documentary with Jake & I. Saturday will be a great day, assuming we can get my health stable for then.
Well, I have to wrap this up. Top Model is about to start and I am such a Top Model fangirl it is sad. I have to text my twin to remind her to watch it as well. I wish she could just drive over and watch it with me :(
See ya. I'll update after I visit my doctor tomorrow.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Day after surgery
*DISCLAIMER* I do NOT use people's real names on my blogs, to protect their privacy, so all names have been changed. I either use their nicknames, middle names, or something I call them as an inside joke, whatever. Privacy to the people in my life is important to me. They know what their "codename" is on here, so they know I am referring to them when I use it. I will either put their names in pink(for the girls) or blue(for the boys) to make it stand out that they ARE a real person in my life, it just isn't their real name.
Well, everything went fine. I will be posting pictures from the surgery, but don't worry, I will just put a link to them so those of you that are squeamish won't be forced to look at them.
I checked in at 5:30am yesterday, I couldn't sleep so I begged Jake to sit in my room with me until I fell asleep. Well, I never fell asleep, he did, so I moved out to the couch where he usually sleeps when he stays over and wrote in our journal(We have a shared journal, we write letters in it to each other back and forth) and watched Top Model until it was time for me to get ready. I texted my twin at some point yesterday and she wanted to come up, but she was sick herself and couldn't, so she just talked to me a little bit and promised she would come up as soon as she was better. I can't wait to see her, I really miss her ever since Jake and I moved an hour and a half away. We used to live less than 5 minutes apart so we could just see each other whenever we liked. It sucks that I don't get to just call her at midnight and say "Come over and have a smoke with me anymore"(minus the smoke, I quit two months ago). We talked on the phone a little bit that night and last night I called her. Hopefully I will see her again soon. I also talked to my cousin, Lizzie, and she helped calm me down a bit too.
I was crying the whole morning, I hurt so badly and I was nervous. The staff was very nice. My preacher and Sunday School teacher came to see me yesterday before surgery. Another lady from church came as well, but she didn't get to see me bc they wheeled me back to the operating room right after my Sunday School teacher left. I woke up in a ton of pain, so they gave me a shot of Fetenayl(spelling?) to help that. I don't remember going to sleep before the surgery. They put something in my IV so that I wouldn't remember.
They removed a tennis ball sized blood filled cyst, and some additional Endometriosis that had popped back up. She didn't have to remove my right ovary at this time because it wasn't life threatening. I didn't lose a lot of blood, so I didn't have to have a transfusion. They have to fill your tummy with gas to be able to maneuver around better. They try to get as much out as they can after surgery is complete, but there is only so much they can "deflate" ha. So you have to deflate yourself. Only two ways to get it out: Burp it out, or fart it out. Needless to say, I've been working on it, haha. The gas moves throughout your whole body as well, and it is very painful. Last night it was in my right shoulder blade, and the right side of my ribcage as well as my tummy. It hurt to breathe in. My grandma let me use her heating pad so that helped some, and they gave me painkillers. It isn't that bad in my shoulder blade or ribcage anymore, but it feels like someone punched me in the tummy a few times. No bruising yet, but I'm sure it is coming.
Well, I need to wrap this up, my friend Carrie is coming by to get me and ride up to her in laws house to pick up a dog. So glad I can get out of the house. I am thinking of going to an event at my church today, I will be sitting down, and I live 5 minutes walking distance from the church so it isn't like I have far to go if I start hurting. I have to call my friend Crystal and let her know how everything is going as well. I don't like to text if I don't have to.
I will post later!! Spread the word about my blog, because again, the goal is to reach people and bring awareness to Endometriosis, and support to those who have it. Follow me, promote me, tell all your friends, post it on your Facebook status, etc.
Love you all!!
Well, everything went fine. I will be posting pictures from the surgery, but don't worry, I will just put a link to them so those of you that are squeamish won't be forced to look at them.
I checked in at 5:30am yesterday, I couldn't sleep so I begged Jake to sit in my room with me until I fell asleep. Well, I never fell asleep, he did, so I moved out to the couch where he usually sleeps when he stays over and wrote in our journal(We have a shared journal, we write letters in it to each other back and forth) and watched Top Model until it was time for me to get ready. I texted my twin at some point yesterday and she wanted to come up, but she was sick herself and couldn't, so she just talked to me a little bit and promised she would come up as soon as she was better. I can't wait to see her, I really miss her ever since Jake and I moved an hour and a half away. We used to live less than 5 minutes apart so we could just see each other whenever we liked. It sucks that I don't get to just call her at midnight and say "Come over and have a smoke with me anymore"(minus the smoke, I quit two months ago). We talked on the phone a little bit that night and last night I called her. Hopefully I will see her again soon. I also talked to my cousin, Lizzie, and she helped calm me down a bit too.
I was crying the whole morning, I hurt so badly and I was nervous. The staff was very nice. My preacher and Sunday School teacher came to see me yesterday before surgery. Another lady from church came as well, but she didn't get to see me bc they wheeled me back to the operating room right after my Sunday School teacher left. I woke up in a ton of pain, so they gave me a shot of Fetenayl(spelling?) to help that. I don't remember going to sleep before the surgery. They put something in my IV so that I wouldn't remember.
They removed a tennis ball sized blood filled cyst, and some additional Endometriosis that had popped back up. She didn't have to remove my right ovary at this time because it wasn't life threatening. I didn't lose a lot of blood, so I didn't have to have a transfusion. They have to fill your tummy with gas to be able to maneuver around better. They try to get as much out as they can after surgery is complete, but there is only so much they can "deflate" ha. So you have to deflate yourself. Only two ways to get it out: Burp it out, or fart it out. Needless to say, I've been working on it, haha. The gas moves throughout your whole body as well, and it is very painful. Last night it was in my right shoulder blade, and the right side of my ribcage as well as my tummy. It hurt to breathe in. My grandma let me use her heating pad so that helped some, and they gave me painkillers. It isn't that bad in my shoulder blade or ribcage anymore, but it feels like someone punched me in the tummy a few times. No bruising yet, but I'm sure it is coming.
Well, I need to wrap this up, my friend Carrie is coming by to get me and ride up to her in laws house to pick up a dog. So glad I can get out of the house. I am thinking of going to an event at my church today, I will be sitting down, and I live 5 minutes walking distance from the church so it isn't like I have far to go if I start hurting. I have to call my friend Crystal and let her know how everything is going as well. I don't like to text if I don't have to.
I will post later!! Spread the word about my blog, because again, the goal is to reach people and bring awareness to Endometriosis, and support to those who have it. Follow me, promote me, tell all your friends, post it on your Facebook status, etc.
Love you all!!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Nervous....
I am TERRIFIED about tomorrow.
I am to be at the hospital at 5:30 am, and I go into surgery at 7am. I took my medicine to relax me and help me sleep, but sleep won't be coming easy tonight. I am terrified about the anesthesia. It just scares me to go to sleep involuntarily.
I have a cyst on my right ovary roughly the size of a tennis ball. It is blood filled, otherwise known as a chocolate cyst. That makes it a lot riskier, and I may have to have a blood transfusion. As odd as it sounds, I am not afraid of a blood transfusion. It actually is a pretty weird feeling. Kind of cool even, but I was really doped up when they did it, so that may have had something to do with it.... They may or may not remove my right ovary, and will remove any additional endometriosis lesions they find. The next step is the Lupron shot, which will trick my body into menopause for about 6 months. Then we will see where we take it from there.
This blog is really helping me cope. I hope a lot of people read it and even hope to give support to those suffering as well.
I can't stop freaking out. I think I will go play on my iPod and if I fall asleep then great. If not then no big. I'll get plenty of sleep during the anesthesia.
Please, pray for me. I want to come out okay, and start to live a normal life again. I will post sometime after, and hopefully have some super cool pictures to share :)
Questions?? Comments?? Words of kindness?? Shoot me an e-mail. I'm very open, so I don't mind answering any questions. Plus, I won't have much to do while recovering, so communication is appreciated!! I love comments as well, *hint* ;)
Wish me luck!!
I am to be at the hospital at 5:30 am, and I go into surgery at 7am. I took my medicine to relax me and help me sleep, but sleep won't be coming easy tonight. I am terrified about the anesthesia. It just scares me to go to sleep involuntarily.
I have a cyst on my right ovary roughly the size of a tennis ball. It is blood filled, otherwise known as a chocolate cyst. That makes it a lot riskier, and I may have to have a blood transfusion. As odd as it sounds, I am not afraid of a blood transfusion. It actually is a pretty weird feeling. Kind of cool even, but I was really doped up when they did it, so that may have had something to do with it.... They may or may not remove my right ovary, and will remove any additional endometriosis lesions they find. The next step is the Lupron shot, which will trick my body into menopause for about 6 months. Then we will see where we take it from there.
This blog is really helping me cope. I hope a lot of people read it and even hope to give support to those suffering as well.
I can't stop freaking out. I think I will go play on my iPod and if I fall asleep then great. If not then no big. I'll get plenty of sleep during the anesthesia.
Please, pray for me. I want to come out okay, and start to live a normal life again. I will post sometime after, and hopefully have some super cool pictures to share :)
Questions?? Comments?? Words of kindness?? Shoot me an e-mail. I'm very open, so I don't mind answering any questions. Plus, I won't have much to do while recovering, so communication is appreciated!! I love comments as well, *hint* ;)
Wish me luck!!
This wasn't supposed to happen to me....
A few years ago, I was completley different person. I was a dancer, a cheerleader. I loved to work out. A healthy, bubbly, big blue eyed, redhead who loved to fill every free moment with plans. I loved to go on drives, go shopping, and if a friend called me saying "Come meet me to play pool right now!!" I had my keys and was on my way right after I got dressed and did a quick mirror check to make sure I looked my best. I never had to struggle for money, I had a big group of friends, I was a princess who got pretty much anything I wanted. I guess you could say I was a lucky girl living a charmed life.
That girl is gone now.
Of course, I still have the red hair and blue eyes, I still try to be bubbly and even try to dance once in awhile. Though at 5'5" and 120 lbs, I'm pretty thin. My thick head of hair is much thinner than before. I have to know my plans ahead of time because it takes me a lot longer to take on the day. My friends stopped calling. For awhile, I didn't bother to put on makeup or even care if my clothes matched. I've much improved in that area now, thank goodness. Though I go with a natural face or a teeny bit of mascara and blush most days, and I keep my clothes pretty casual.
What happened??
That is what this blog is about. My illness. I have Borderline Stage 3 Endometriosis. This isn't just a blog for me to whine about my life, no. I have several goals. If you have never heard of the illness, I hope to educate you about it. Or maybe you know of somebody who has it, or even have a loved one with it, but don't know much about it. If that is you, I hope to give you an example of what a girl with that disease goes through on a daily basis, so maybe it will be easier for you to lend them some help, support, or a listening ear. Or, if you are one of the 5-10% of females who also have the illness, I hope I can be a friend to you, and maybe even support you. If I can touch the heart of, or educate one person, I will be happy. Maybe I can start a charity for Endometriosis or help work with an organization. Who knows, maybe I can be a spokesperson for it one day!!
This first blog will be a long one, so grab a soda, kick off your shoes, and get comfy. I urge you to read it all, though I understand it is long, because the journey started quite some time ago. If you want to skip the history, then just scroll past all the ictalicized text.
Let's back up. WAY UP. Grade School. There comes the time where you have "the talk" with your parents. For girls, the talk also includes the basics about menstruation. I listened, even attended a mother/daughter class. Now, for whatever reason, getting your period was a big deal. All the girls chatted with their friends about it "Have you gotten yours yet?! What does it feel like?? Does it hurt??" Looking back, I don't know why there was so much excitement over it. I never did get into the excitement over it. Maybe because I was the first of my friends to get it, so I discovered early that it wasn't something you looked forward to every month. I got it at age 10 or 11, and I remember all my friends were jealous about my "being a woman now!!" I never got it. I dreaded it.
Jump up to middle school. My health was normal, other than the tri-yearly cases of strep throat I got(For the record, I still somehow have my tonsils). I was a little rebelious(or maybe "little" is an understatement), I started socially smoking at age 13 because I thought it would impress the older guys and make me look "edgy"(For the other record, it doesn't, and it took me 11 years to quit). I was a little depressed, probably more than normal, but other than that, I was pretty normal. I was a dancer, I did gymnastics, cheerleading, played basketball and volleyball, and soccer when they would let me. I even liked to run.
So here came high school. The most challenging years of my life. Again, I was pretty normal, still active in my activities. Still depressed, but had an okay freshman year. When things got funny was sophomore year. I had fainting spells out of nowhere, and things started not to feel right. Once, out of nowhere, my legs went out on me. Completley numb for about 6 hours. I was kept in the hospital for observation overnight and had tests ran, but we never had an explanation. They said it was psychological, in other words "All in my head". My mom let me stay home from school the next day, and I returned to what you could say was a teenager's nightmare. None of my friends were supportive. They laughed at me and made fun of me. They thought I made it all up. My boyfriend had just broken up with me so they thought I was doing it for attention. I started getting even more depressed. I continued to have panic attacks and fainting spells but nobody believed me. It was hard. I even sat in the bathroom one day during gym class and made several cuts in my own arm. Of course the other girls found out, and again, made fun of me. They would laugh when I passed by and mimic the motions of one slashing their wrists. Even my "best friend" started in on the game. I still felt terribly weak and when I passed out after running around the track for gym class, the teacher asked my two "friends" to help me. They did what they were told, but made fun of me, kicked my legs the whole way and said things like "stop faking", "this won't make Steven(not his real name) take you back", "you're just doing this for attention", "go cut your arms some more". I even got a nasty IM from one of them saying "I hope you die from your fake disease". I didn't know what was wrong, but I knew something was up. My periods were irregular. As in, I would go months without one. Whenever I did have one, it would only last a couple of days, or for 2 weeks with heavy bleeding the whole time. On days I didn't have school, I would sleep overnight for 14 hours!!
I transferred schools my junior year of high school, and I guess I started to feel a tad better, that or I was used to it. At some point, my mom finally took me to a psychologist and I was diagnosed with depression and put on medicine. I had another boyfriend at this time(We will call him Matt), and made it clear I did not want to have sexual intercourse until I was married. He read the side effects to the medicine and read "decreased sex drive" and demanded I stop taking the medicine. He knew nothing would happen until after we were married(I had a promise ring from him at this point, so we talked about marriage), but instead of being supportive, his words were "I DON'T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN!!" I stayed in that abusive relationship for way too long. I went to a Halloween party with him and I started to feel faint and have really bad pain around my hips and thighs. At some point I was vomiting in the toilet and begged him to call my mom, but he had gotten drunk and wouldn't listen. Maybe thats why I can't stand alcohol or the act of people getting drunk to this day.
Finally, my senior year of high school. I had the same symptoms, the boyfriend was gone. Only I had something else strange happen. My appetite decreased dramatically. I was 108 lbs at one point!! I just didn't ever feel hungry.
So, I got used to feeling this way over the next several years and just brushed it off. Lets skip back to a year ago.
I had a great job that I loved at a private airport(that I won't name), except the boss. I loved getting up and going to work. I had a new boyfriend by now who is now my fiance. His real name is not Jake, but thats what we will call him on here. I cracked my foot at work, and was ordered to stay at home for about a month and a half(did I also mention I am clumsy?) I went to visit an old friend of the family one day and all of the sudden the room started spinning. My chest got heavy, I couldn't breathe, my mouth went dry, I urinated on myself, and had some of the worst pelvic pain of my life. The family friend called an ambulance. When I got to the hospital, they told me it was anxiety, and I was fine. A week later, I was driving home, and stopped by Walgreens. I got that weak, funny feeling again, and as soon as I got to my car it hit me. This time it got worse by far. My whole body, even my nose and lips went numb!! The pain was so bad I couldn't even talk. Some kind stranger saw me in distress and again, called an ambulance. They told me that nothing was wrong with me. I had parasthesia, a condition that resulted in my brain getting over stimulated from anxiety. I was fine.
I got fired from my job, in a nutshell, the boss had been looking for a reason to get rid of me all along, he never liked me. I was a nice person, he was a not so nice person. A year and a half before that, I had a seizure at that same job, and when I returned to work he said I was "no longer needed". I was re-hired when he got sent to "management training". I was all done with my work one day down to cleaning the desk. It was raining, and there were no customers in the building. I started a medical journal of my symptoms so that maybe I could show it to my doctor and he could figure it out. Well, the other front desk girls that he liked better sat and played on their iPhones when they had stacks of paperwork to be done and the building full of customers. So surely, I could write in my medical journal after all tasks were completed and the building was empty, right?? Wrong. He demanded I show it to him. I told him it was private, he cursed at me, and told me he would take it from me. I told him very respectfully it was private, he called me a bad name then told me to clock out. I didn't care anymore. Dealing with him wasn't worth it as much as I loved everything else about the job.
At this point, I was helpless. I kept having terrible sick days, and they became more and more frequent. At one point, I had to have a blood transfusion because I had been vomiting so much it ripped up my G.I. tract. Later that summer, after I lost my job, I got so faint, and fell down my stairs and hit my backbone HARD. So I went to the hospital to make sure nothing was broken. They refused to help me. They thought I was a drug seeker. Despite the fact that I had not been prescribed ANYTHING related to narcotics since cracking my foot. Nobody would help me.
I started getting really depressed. More than I had ever been before. It was December, and my parents had split up in '08 so I really missed my mom, who had moved out of state. None of my friends called me or even texted me anymore, I guess they got tired of me. I could never go out anymore because at this point I didnt have a single day where I didn't feel bad. I walked around constantly dizzy. I had headaches, my pelvic area hurt, my thighs hurt, my lower back hurt. I told my fiance that I wasn't suicidal, but I just had no desire to live anymore. Looking back, I stand by that statement. The way I was living was no quality of life to have.
OKAY, IF YOU SKIPPED PAST ALL THE HISTORY, NOW IS THE POINT TO START READING AGAIN. READY?? HERE WE GO.
That April, about a week before my birthday, my life changed forever. It was a blessing in disguise. Around 9pm that night, I started to have minor cramps. I went to bed thinking nothing about it, but it bothered me enough to not be able to sleep on my stomach. I woke up around 5 am sweating, and my stomach hurt. I thought I just needed to go to the bathroom. I got up, took about three steps, and fell to the floor. I was going numb again, so I thought I was having an anxiety attack. I went back to bed, but the pain kept getting worse, and the "anxiety" kept coming. I couldn't walk, so I called my fiance and begged him to come take me to the hospital. When we got there, they admitted me to a room in the ER right away. They thought maybe my appendix had burst. It hurt to breathe in. I hurt in my thighs, vaginal and rectal area(it took me 20 minutes to be able to give them a tiny urine sample) my ribcage was where it hurt when I inhaled and exhaled. My whole upper back(around my shoulder blades) hurt so bad I couldn't raise my arms. Oh, and my normally flat stomach was so swollen, I looked 6 months pregnant. I cried when they laid me on that flat on that table for a CT scan and could barely breathe. I screamed during the pelvic exam. They told me I had an ovarian cyst burst and I was admitted into the hospital for 4 days. They FINALLY gave me some morphine(I normally hate pain meds, but it was nice to be without pain and in la la land for a bit at this point) The doctor, who we will refer to as "Dr. D" was great in the hospital. Even right after getting out of the hospital she was great. Then when I kept having pain, she said "Come back and see me in 6 weeks and we will check again." So I got a second opinion. "Dr. H" we will call him. He was my saving grace. He put all the symptoms together and my mothers past condition and told me he was 100% positive I had endometriosis, but he had to do surgery to remove it and diagnose it. So on 7-21-11, we did just that. Sure enough, he removed severe endometriosis. It was expected to be on my ovaries and uterus, and it was, but it had also spread to my rectum and bladder. The pictures were pretty cool to see. Now for the bad news. There is no cure for Endometriosis. A hystorectomy is the only way. In rare cases, sometimes that doesn't even work. So it does return, it is just a matter of when.
I felt better the day after the surgery!! But 3 weeks later, it returned. All the symptoms. A biopsy done in the ER one night confirmed it when it came back positive for Endometriosis. My fiance and I moved to a new city for school, him living in a house, and me living with my grandparents until we get married. So we had to find a local doctor. I hated to leave "Dr. H", but I now see who we will call "Dr. S" who is amazing as well. My next surgery is tomorrow. We will stop here for now and I will continue to update my progress. Keep in mind, I am a severe case. Not everyone with Endometriosis has the symptoms or return rate that I did. Some women have no pain at all. This is only my case, so I cannot speak for everyone.
If you want to know more about the illness, try these few links.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis
^Note, if you scroll down, they have a few pictures, if you will read the captions, you will see one with the caption "Chocolate Cyst", which is a cyst filled with blood. That is the form I have, it is a rarer form.
http://www.endometriosisassn.org/
^ The Endometriosis Association
http://endometriosis.org/endometriosis/
^Explains the condition and how it works.
My e-mail address is on my blog page, so feel free to send a few lines my way. I don't mind answering any questions, so ask away. I am always happy to hear from a new friend, or a fellow sister with the same illness. MassieMoscow@gmail.com for those of you that don't want to go looking. However, any rude comments or insults will not even be read, they will be deleted immediately, so don't even waste your time.
Leave me comments!! I love feedback and I could really use the support right now!! I love e-mails, so shoot me a line. I could use some things to read while I am recovering.
That girl is gone now.
Of course, I still have the red hair and blue eyes, I still try to be bubbly and even try to dance once in awhile. Though at 5'5" and 120 lbs, I'm pretty thin. My thick head of hair is much thinner than before. I have to know my plans ahead of time because it takes me a lot longer to take on the day. My friends stopped calling. For awhile, I didn't bother to put on makeup or even care if my clothes matched. I've much improved in that area now, thank goodness. Though I go with a natural face or a teeny bit of mascara and blush most days, and I keep my clothes pretty casual.
What happened??
That is what this blog is about. My illness. I have Borderline Stage 3 Endometriosis. This isn't just a blog for me to whine about my life, no. I have several goals. If you have never heard of the illness, I hope to educate you about it. Or maybe you know of somebody who has it, or even have a loved one with it, but don't know much about it. If that is you, I hope to give you an example of what a girl with that disease goes through on a daily basis, so maybe it will be easier for you to lend them some help, support, or a listening ear. Or, if you are one of the 5-10% of females who also have the illness, I hope I can be a friend to you, and maybe even support you. If I can touch the heart of, or educate one person, I will be happy. Maybe I can start a charity for Endometriosis or help work with an organization. Who knows, maybe I can be a spokesperson for it one day!!
This first blog will be a long one, so grab a soda, kick off your shoes, and get comfy. I urge you to read it all, though I understand it is long, because the journey started quite some time ago. If you want to skip the history, then just scroll past all the ictalicized text.
Let's back up. WAY UP. Grade School. There comes the time where you have "the talk" with your parents. For girls, the talk also includes the basics about menstruation. I listened, even attended a mother/daughter class. Now, for whatever reason, getting your period was a big deal. All the girls chatted with their friends about it "Have you gotten yours yet?! What does it feel like?? Does it hurt??" Looking back, I don't know why there was so much excitement over it. I never did get into the excitement over it. Maybe because I was the first of my friends to get it, so I discovered early that it wasn't something you looked forward to every month. I got it at age 10 or 11, and I remember all my friends were jealous about my "being a woman now!!" I never got it. I dreaded it.
Jump up to middle school. My health was normal, other than the tri-yearly cases of strep throat I got(For the record, I still somehow have my tonsils). I was a little rebelious(or maybe "little" is an understatement), I started socially smoking at age 13 because I thought it would impress the older guys and make me look "edgy"(For the other record, it doesn't, and it took me 11 years to quit). I was a little depressed, probably more than normal, but other than that, I was pretty normal. I was a dancer, I did gymnastics, cheerleading, played basketball and volleyball, and soccer when they would let me. I even liked to run.
So here came high school. The most challenging years of my life. Again, I was pretty normal, still active in my activities. Still depressed, but had an okay freshman year. When things got funny was sophomore year. I had fainting spells out of nowhere, and things started not to feel right. Once, out of nowhere, my legs went out on me. Completley numb for about 6 hours. I was kept in the hospital for observation overnight and had tests ran, but we never had an explanation. They said it was psychological, in other words "All in my head". My mom let me stay home from school the next day, and I returned to what you could say was a teenager's nightmare. None of my friends were supportive. They laughed at me and made fun of me. They thought I made it all up. My boyfriend had just broken up with me so they thought I was doing it for attention. I started getting even more depressed. I continued to have panic attacks and fainting spells but nobody believed me. It was hard. I even sat in the bathroom one day during gym class and made several cuts in my own arm. Of course the other girls found out, and again, made fun of me. They would laugh when I passed by and mimic the motions of one slashing their wrists. Even my "best friend" started in on the game. I still felt terribly weak and when I passed out after running around the track for gym class, the teacher asked my two "friends" to help me. They did what they were told, but made fun of me, kicked my legs the whole way and said things like "stop faking", "this won't make Steven(not his real name) take you back", "you're just doing this for attention", "go cut your arms some more". I even got a nasty IM from one of them saying "I hope you die from your fake disease". I didn't know what was wrong, but I knew something was up. My periods were irregular. As in, I would go months without one. Whenever I did have one, it would only last a couple of days, or for 2 weeks with heavy bleeding the whole time. On days I didn't have school, I would sleep overnight for 14 hours!!
I transferred schools my junior year of high school, and I guess I started to feel a tad better, that or I was used to it. At some point, my mom finally took me to a psychologist and I was diagnosed with depression and put on medicine. I had another boyfriend at this time(We will call him Matt), and made it clear I did not want to have sexual intercourse until I was married. He read the side effects to the medicine and read "decreased sex drive" and demanded I stop taking the medicine. He knew nothing would happen until after we were married(I had a promise ring from him at this point, so we talked about marriage), but instead of being supportive, his words were "I DON'T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN!!" I stayed in that abusive relationship for way too long. I went to a Halloween party with him and I started to feel faint and have really bad pain around my hips and thighs. At some point I was vomiting in the toilet and begged him to call my mom, but he had gotten drunk and wouldn't listen. Maybe thats why I can't stand alcohol or the act of people getting drunk to this day.
Finally, my senior year of high school. I had the same symptoms, the boyfriend was gone. Only I had something else strange happen. My appetite decreased dramatically. I was 108 lbs at one point!! I just didn't ever feel hungry.
So, I got used to feeling this way over the next several years and just brushed it off. Lets skip back to a year ago.
I had a great job that I loved at a private airport(that I won't name), except the boss. I loved getting up and going to work. I had a new boyfriend by now who is now my fiance. His real name is not Jake, but thats what we will call him on here. I cracked my foot at work, and was ordered to stay at home for about a month and a half(did I also mention I am clumsy?) I went to visit an old friend of the family one day and all of the sudden the room started spinning. My chest got heavy, I couldn't breathe, my mouth went dry, I urinated on myself, and had some of the worst pelvic pain of my life. The family friend called an ambulance. When I got to the hospital, they told me it was anxiety, and I was fine. A week later, I was driving home, and stopped by Walgreens. I got that weak, funny feeling again, and as soon as I got to my car it hit me. This time it got worse by far. My whole body, even my nose and lips went numb!! The pain was so bad I couldn't even talk. Some kind stranger saw me in distress and again, called an ambulance. They told me that nothing was wrong with me. I had parasthesia, a condition that resulted in my brain getting over stimulated from anxiety. I was fine.
I got fired from my job, in a nutshell, the boss had been looking for a reason to get rid of me all along, he never liked me. I was a nice person, he was a not so nice person. A year and a half before that, I had a seizure at that same job, and when I returned to work he said I was "no longer needed". I was re-hired when he got sent to "management training". I was all done with my work one day down to cleaning the desk. It was raining, and there were no customers in the building. I started a medical journal of my symptoms so that maybe I could show it to my doctor and he could figure it out. Well, the other front desk girls that he liked better sat and played on their iPhones when they had stacks of paperwork to be done and the building full of customers. So surely, I could write in my medical journal after all tasks were completed and the building was empty, right?? Wrong. He demanded I show it to him. I told him it was private, he cursed at me, and told me he would take it from me. I told him very respectfully it was private, he called me a bad name then told me to clock out. I didn't care anymore. Dealing with him wasn't worth it as much as I loved everything else about the job.
At this point, I was helpless. I kept having terrible sick days, and they became more and more frequent. At one point, I had to have a blood transfusion because I had been vomiting so much it ripped up my G.I. tract. Later that summer, after I lost my job, I got so faint, and fell down my stairs and hit my backbone HARD. So I went to the hospital to make sure nothing was broken. They refused to help me. They thought I was a drug seeker. Despite the fact that I had not been prescribed ANYTHING related to narcotics since cracking my foot. Nobody would help me.
I started getting really depressed. More than I had ever been before. It was December, and my parents had split up in '08 so I really missed my mom, who had moved out of state. None of my friends called me or even texted me anymore, I guess they got tired of me. I could never go out anymore because at this point I didnt have a single day where I didn't feel bad. I walked around constantly dizzy. I had headaches, my pelvic area hurt, my thighs hurt, my lower back hurt. I told my fiance that I wasn't suicidal, but I just had no desire to live anymore. Looking back, I stand by that statement. The way I was living was no quality of life to have.
OKAY, IF YOU SKIPPED PAST ALL THE HISTORY, NOW IS THE POINT TO START READING AGAIN. READY?? HERE WE GO.
That April, about a week before my birthday, my life changed forever. It was a blessing in disguise. Around 9pm that night, I started to have minor cramps. I went to bed thinking nothing about it, but it bothered me enough to not be able to sleep on my stomach. I woke up around 5 am sweating, and my stomach hurt. I thought I just needed to go to the bathroom. I got up, took about three steps, and fell to the floor. I was going numb again, so I thought I was having an anxiety attack. I went back to bed, but the pain kept getting worse, and the "anxiety" kept coming. I couldn't walk, so I called my fiance and begged him to come take me to the hospital. When we got there, they admitted me to a room in the ER right away. They thought maybe my appendix had burst. It hurt to breathe in. I hurt in my thighs, vaginal and rectal area(it took me 20 minutes to be able to give them a tiny urine sample) my ribcage was where it hurt when I inhaled and exhaled. My whole upper back(around my shoulder blades) hurt so bad I couldn't raise my arms. Oh, and my normally flat stomach was so swollen, I looked 6 months pregnant. I cried when they laid me on that flat on that table for a CT scan and could barely breathe. I screamed during the pelvic exam. They told me I had an ovarian cyst burst and I was admitted into the hospital for 4 days. They FINALLY gave me some morphine(I normally hate pain meds, but it was nice to be without pain and in la la land for a bit at this point) The doctor, who we will refer to as "Dr. D" was great in the hospital. Even right after getting out of the hospital she was great. Then when I kept having pain, she said "Come back and see me in 6 weeks and we will check again." So I got a second opinion. "Dr. H" we will call him. He was my saving grace. He put all the symptoms together and my mothers past condition and told me he was 100% positive I had endometriosis, but he had to do surgery to remove it and diagnose it. So on 7-21-11, we did just that. Sure enough, he removed severe endometriosis. It was expected to be on my ovaries and uterus, and it was, but it had also spread to my rectum and bladder. The pictures were pretty cool to see. Now for the bad news. There is no cure for Endometriosis. A hystorectomy is the only way. In rare cases, sometimes that doesn't even work. So it does return, it is just a matter of when.
I felt better the day after the surgery!! But 3 weeks later, it returned. All the symptoms. A biopsy done in the ER one night confirmed it when it came back positive for Endometriosis. My fiance and I moved to a new city for school, him living in a house, and me living with my grandparents until we get married. So we had to find a local doctor. I hated to leave "Dr. H", but I now see who we will call "Dr. S" who is amazing as well. My next surgery is tomorrow. We will stop here for now and I will continue to update my progress. Keep in mind, I am a severe case. Not everyone with Endometriosis has the symptoms or return rate that I did. Some women have no pain at all. This is only my case, so I cannot speak for everyone.
If you want to know more about the illness, try these few links.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis
^Note, if you scroll down, they have a few pictures, if you will read the captions, you will see one with the caption "Chocolate Cyst", which is a cyst filled with blood. That is the form I have, it is a rarer form.
http://www.endometriosisassn.org/
^ The Endometriosis Association
http://endometriosis.org/endometriosis/
^Explains the condition and how it works.
My e-mail address is on my blog page, so feel free to send a few lines my way. I don't mind answering any questions, so ask away. I am always happy to hear from a new friend, or a fellow sister with the same illness. MassieMoscow@gmail.com for those of you that don't want to go looking. However, any rude comments or insults will not even be read, they will be deleted immediately, so don't even waste your time.
Leave me comments!! I love feedback and I could really use the support right now!! I love e-mails, so shoot me a line. I could use some things to read while I am recovering.
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